Ask Dr. Bill

Dear Dr. Bill,

I write to you in the hope that you can help me with my problem. Most of the people around me believe that we are losing the war in Iraq. These same people believe SUVs are evil, religion is bad, and Michael Moore is God. When I tell them, I do not believe what they are saying; they tell me I am a racist, a Nazi, and a warmonger. They tell me that there is something wrong with me. Dr. Bill, is there something wrong with me?

Confused

Dear Confused,

The problem is not with you the problem is you are hanging around with people that have a mental illness. This illness is called Liberalism. It is very important that you limit your exposure to these infected idiots. Liberalism is contagious. The only defense against this illness is common sense. Take two hours of Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Michael Savage, or Sean Hannity and write me next issue. Let me know if there is anything that I can help you understand.