God Sends in the Marines - Monday Morning HUMOR
A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes.” The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.
Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, “Here I am God. I’m still waiting.” It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform.
The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, “What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?”
The Marine calmly replied, “God was too busy today protecting America ’s soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an a$$. So, He sent me.”
(via GM Roper)
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Sara
That’s hilarious. Thanks for the laugh
August 27th, 2007 at 7:41 amWild Bill
thanks for stopping in Sara!
August 27th, 2007 at 1:18 pmRT
Hoo rah!
August 27th, 2007 at 4:22 pmPatricia -Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker
I Stumbled you with a review that said, “God is alive and well and used a U. S. Marine to prove it. Amen.”
August 28th, 2007 at 4:41 pmTad
Wow, so you got to enjoy a violent wish-fulfillment fantasy- how Christian of you.
August 30th, 2007 at 3:14 pmDavid
Nice story, it is a good example of god’s lack of interference in this world and deists resorting to violence when their beliefs are questioned. It is sad but true.
August 30th, 2007 at 3:54 pmYitz
I especially like the part where the Marine acts like a violent thug and uses God’s will as an excuse for his crime - classic! I’m going to forward this joke to all my friends. It’s funny because it’s true!
August 30th, 2007 at 4:00 pmTyler
Assaulting a college professor, nice! Now, I forget, which religion was it that said “turn the other cheek”? Must not have been Christianity, because if it was, you would be completely contradicting it.
Seriously, why do you find humor in violence? Do you teach your children to physically attack people who disagree with them? Is this really how you want the world to work, everyone punching the people they disagree with?
Jesus Christ was a pacifist, and you have clearly strayed from his teachings.
[ed - Have you ever heard of humor Tyler?]
August 30th, 2007 at 4:36 pmPatricia -Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker
Wild Bill, some of us still love you any way.
August 30th, 2007 at 4:43 pmkkawohl
Yikes…it’s a comedy…lighten up already…maybe we should have more God jokes to realize that God helps those who help themselves.
…and God needs no slaves.
August 30th, 2007 at 4:47 pmJason
[ed - comment deleted because Jason can't play nice.]
August 30th, 2007 at 4:47 pmbookie
And here we have it.
Resolving problems via Violence. Anti-Intellectualism. The Iraq a threat to free speech. And vulgarity. Oh and let’s not forget the ACLU bit.
Yes, I think we have all the Christian cliches here. Well done!
[ed - smugness, anti-Christian, and anti-Americanism, yes we have all the signs of a deranged basement dwelling moonbat here. lol]
August 30th, 2007 at 4:48 pmRachel
I like how he talks about God protecting the soldiers who are fighting for free speech while denying a fellow American to freely practice it.
Maybe this ridiculously Old Meme could die soon.
August 30th, 2007 at 4:49 pmAnon
How anyone can laugh at violence in the name of religious conviction really esapes me.
No better than Islamic extremism.
[ed - Anon you are an idiot explain to me how punching someone that asked to be punch is even on the same level as flying a plane into a building.]
August 30th, 2007 at 4:55 pmRalph Kramden
So, are all Marines violent thugs like the one depicted in this “joke”? And what is a “vowed” atheist anyway?
August 30th, 2007 at 5:29 pmhutch120
This makes me sick. I just hope this joke was written to provoke thought because otherwise it is just twisted, akin to a making a joke about rape. It’s violent, and makes no sense, and is nothing to do with God.
August 30th, 2007 at 5:53 pmAlso, kkawhol, I’m not going to “lighten up” when something like this is spread so widely it makes the top 10 of every blog filter it must be shot down.
I’m glad most of the comments above agree with me, and I hope that the others are sarcastic is some way that I don’t quite get.
kkawohl
Religiosity
is boring and dull & for the old folk…but…spirituality is love, peace and compassion. Religions have set up their own dogmas…and they try to convince you that you better believe them, or else…well, I am the ultimate preacher…and I say, “these are all man-made rules”…God does not need slaves, praise, or anything from us…just live righteously & believe whatever you want…and I’ll see you in Heaven.
The Peace Seeker
August 30th, 2007 at 6:07 pmWild Bill
The funniest thing that all of these trolls did not bother to investigate before leaving their droppings is that I am an atheist. Just goes to show you how stupid the anti-Christian idiots are.
The nicest people I have ever meet were Christians. One of the reasons I don’t like to call myself an atheist is because most atheists I have meet are some of the most hate-filled morons on the planet.
August 30th, 2007 at 7:37 pmWild Bill
Oh also the hateful troll comments will be marked as spam. I enjoy comments and conversations (even if I disagree with them) however excessive profanity and anti-American hate filled comments will not be tolerate on this blog.
Other than that have fun and have a nice day.
August 30th, 2007 at 7:50 pmkender
bill…I think it is just one troll using lots of names…..and I think the joke is funny…
August 30th, 2007 at 8:09 pmWild Bill
Well my spam filter is catching most of the bullcrap comments. I just had to prune a few.
August 30th, 2007 at 8:25 pmkender
wow…Jesus seems to be cranky….
[ed - sorry he was really the anti-Christ and I put him in spam hell!]
August 30th, 2007 at 8:26 pmRosemary
Just as long as our men and women have their Bibles and enough ammo, I don’t give a rats behind what these racist, commie, selfish, ignorant, cry-baby, panty-wipes have to say. It sure is good to be alive, eh?
August 30th, 2007 at 8:41 pmRachel
I haven’t really seen much profanity or anti-american nonsense…but maybe those comments were deleted?
I really don’t investigate much once I see “marine” and “atheist” because I’ve seen this story so many times it makes me want to puke. This story is terrible at proving any points, except that people are good at regurgitating played out stereotypes (grats, you’re on par with Carlos Mencia.)
I actually get really irritated at crazy atheists, just like crazy-anythings. It’s just that this story isn’t that funny (maybe it would be if I hadn’t seen it every week since forever) and it just makes both sides of the “issue” look foolish. (Hopefully you find this “marine” to be a “crazy” just like “crazy atheists.” He seems to have some issues)
Most people have probably seen this story multiple times. You’re just late to the party and they’re probably bored and irritated with it already.
Whether you’re an atheist or not, this story blows.
“Just as long as our men and women have their Bibles and enough ammo, I don’t give a rats behind what these racist, commie, selfish, ignorant, cry-baby, panty-wipes have to say”
lololol
[ed - Glad you have seen this joke before Rachel. This was the first time I have seen this joke. Thanks for making the rest of us that found it funny feel stupid and uncool because we didn't get the memo about this joke when you read it. I guess the problem is you failed to email me and everyone else in the world who had not read the joke. So I blame you and your negative little Miss uppty popular attitude. lol]
August 30th, 2007 at 9:32 pmoh, ok
Holy post backfire batman :rofl:
[ed - yeah ragging anti-American libs have no sense of humor.]
August 30th, 2007 at 10:03 pmJordan Lund
Stifling dissent? Check! Ignoring the facts? Check!
Wild Bill - You’re just as bad as any Christian zealot.
Close to 1,000 Marines have died for a fruitless war in Iraq. It’s not a joke. God isn’t keeping a good eye on them.
[ed - falsely believing you have some right to freedom of personal and vulgar attacks on my blog. Check! Claiming I am ignoring facts when your brain is filled with so much false information you can't tell the difference between your brain and your colon. Check! Anti-Christan. Check! Claiming the war is fruitless instead of looking out your window and realizing that their are no muzzy terrorists in your front yard and the reason for that is the US fighting back and taking the war to them. Check! Ignorance in believing to know what god should do and how he should do it. Check! Wow you win the "hot pocket eating, parent's basement living, moonbat of the day award." Congratulations Jordan!]
August 30th, 2007 at 10:17 pmDanny Turkle
I found this funny, as an ex-Marine. I will say though, that I’m an atheist. But the idea of beating the crap out of pansy-ass liberal professors who think they know what they’re talking about is just so…right!
Thanks for a good laugh.
August 31st, 2007 at 12:15 amBuddy
After the assault, instead of pressing charges the professor realized the Marine was most likely suffering from severe post-traumatic stress disorder related to his combat experiences. He helped him get in touch with a local support group, and the Marine got the treatment and counseling he needed (which his TRICARE military insurance program had previously refused to pay for).
Everyone lived happily ever after.
August 31st, 2007 at 12:32 amWesley
My god… Is everyone on this planet insane?
Anyways I came here to be offended. Read your bio. And saw how grossly overplayed this stupid joke was. So, on behalf of readers who feel the same. I apologize.
Have a good un’
August 31st, 2007 at 1:00 amSuperDude
Nice story and interesting to see the responses so far. I don’t particularly agree to your policy of deleting so many of the comments, but *shrug* this is your blog.
My response would be along the lines of: [ed - link to any retarded moonbat site]
It would help Wild Bill, if you provided your commentary on the story at the end. Without that it is hard to make out what message you are trying to get across.
But maybe you enjoy getting people to jump to conclusions and then delete posts that you don’t like, all the while not letting your real affiliations being known.
[ed - Hey SuperDumb, how do I not let my real affiliations be known? I am so conservative it would make you froth at the mouth and pee your pants. Also I am an atheist, doesn't that just blow your little mind? You probably though all conservatives were Christians. I don't make anybody jump to conclusion, ignorant people like you do it all be yourselves.]
August 31st, 2007 at 5:46 amJorn
Wow, what a great story. It really shows Gods workings!! Just like every single other story I’ve ever heard about divine interference, there’s not a single piece of evidence to show that God did anything at all. How frustrating it must have been for this marine to see that God didn’t intend to do anything at all!! No wonder he got violent…
[ed - Hello
August 31st, 2007 at 9:13 amJornCaptain Clueless, its a joke!]Hermes
Zeus is indeed great.
August 31st, 2007 at 9:56 ambookie
The funny part was where you called SuperDude SuperDumb. And Jorn Capitan Clueless. haha
August 31st, 2007 at 12:43 pmLouis James
Nice, but Marines are not allowed to attend college “between assignments”.
August 31st, 2007 at 1:34 pmMom
Where is everyone’s sense of humor! The story was cute and gave me a good laugh for the day and you can ask Wild Bill I am the first one against violence, but it was just a joke.
August 31st, 2007 at 2:25 pmyou
[ed - comment buried in The Comment Graveyard]
August 31st, 2007 at 3:43 pmRon Goodwyne
What everyone has missed is the fallacy inherent in the professor’s starting position. The notion that God not acting would prove anything is breathtaking nonsense, yet professors have actually used this ploy before. As if God, any god, would somehow be compelled to act simply because a pompous moron demands it. The lack of action would neither prove nor disprove the existence of God.
August 31st, 2007 at 4:29 pmkender
Proof denies faith.
Without Faith God does not exist, or so the argument goes.
Draw your own conclusions from that
August 31st, 2007 at 4:34 pmKRM
[ed - comment buried in The Comment Graveyard]
August 31st, 2007 at 7:26 pmkender
Wow KRM, that’s a funny thing to say to an atheist.
August 31st, 2007 at 7:35 pm5uperman
That’s an awesome story! I hope I have the chance to do something like that after high school!
August 31st, 2007 at 7:40 pmEric
[ed - comment buried in The Comment Graveyard]
August 31st, 2007 at 9:01 pmHerr Rick
[ed - comment buried in The Comment Graveyard]
August 31st, 2007 at 9:01 pmWild Bill
Read my text, “Its a JOKE!” Boy trolls are stupid.
August 31st, 2007 at 9:36 pmSuperDude
[ed - comment buried in The Comment Graveyard]
September 1st, 2007 at 3:33 amSuperDude
Breaking News: Wild Bill wins the battle with the trolls and the moonbats at Reddit! Congratulations Wild Bill!
See the “Comment Graveyard” for more details.
[ed - yeah snarky sarcasm, good job Super
September 1st, 2007 at 11:48 amDudeTroll! At least you played nice so this one doesn't make it to the graveyard.]Fiar
Eww. Troll turds.
Personally, I would have called the site “Troll Hell.”
September 4th, 2007 at 9:18 am