How to be happy - Part 1

Mama always said, “If’n you ain’t got anyting good to say don’t say nuttin at all!” So lately I haven’t said much. During my silence I did some soul searching to find out why I seemed to be in a slump. The process I went through to discover the reasons for my slight depression might be able to help other people who are going through a crisis in their lives. If you are lacking motivation, feeling a little down, or don’t feel happiness as you once did then I have a fix for the rut you find yourself in.

Getting real with how you feel

What are your feelings about your life? I asked myself this very same question and for me the best way to get anything done is to make a list. So I made a list and decided that I would write down the emotions and feeling that I experienced when I thought about the present course of my life. Think about how your life would be if you were to repeat the last few months or years for the rest of your life. For me I felt like my life was headed in the wrong direction and a flood of emotions spilled out on the paper.

How I feel when I think about the present course of my life.

Here was my list:

• Miserable
• Sad
• Scared
• Worried
• Disappointed
• Nervous
• Bored
• Stressed
• Depressed
• Frustrated
• Irritated
• Aggravated
• Mad
• Angry
• Pissed Off

Writing your list and being completely honest about how you feel takes courage. It took me a while to finish this list. After I wrote a word I found myself stuck in that emotion so I explored each one individually to discover exactly why I felt that way.

Miserable - My life has become down right miserable bordering on unbearable. I am not happy. Getting up in the mourning is almost a chore I do not look forward to.

Sad - I Almost want to cry when I think about all the hurt I have inside. So I try to block those feelings and end up feeling sad.

Scared - I always used to know what to do, but recently I’m afraid that what I need to do will be emotionally difficult so I continue doing nothing hoping someone or something will remove the fear that is blocking my way.

Worried - I’m most worried about money and not fixing the problems in my life. I worried about what will happen when I make the changes I need to make.

Disappointed - I’m disappointed in myself. I’ve had really hard times in my life and overcome them. Why is this time different? Why can’t I do what needs to be done?

Nervous - Mainly I’m nervous about writing this list. I have been keeping these feeling inside for months and I know some of the people in my life will react badly to the changes I need to make.

Bored - I used to avoid people that said they were bored and as a result I feel like I am avoiding myself. Problem is its next to impossible to avoid yourself. I always thought of being bored as a personal problem and I was right. Boredom is one of my problems and I have to be the person to fix it.

Stressed - Most of my stress comes from worrying about a future financial hardship and having no savings. I smoke to release stress and for me it works (I know smoking is bad). I will quit smoking later down the road. I know how I get when I run out of cigarettes and it is not pretty. My marriage is another huge cause of stress in my life.

Depressed - I have been depressed to the point of contemplating suicide before in my life. So I know how dangerous depression can be. I know when I am depressed and deep down I know the solution for my depression. I don’t solve my depression because I have been afraid of how some people in my life will react negatively to the changes I need to make. For me a pill has never helped or cured my depression. Depression is a mechanism of my life that tells me I need to make a change and the time is now.

Frustrated - I’m frustrated with myself because I know what to do, but each day I think about making the change and end up putting it off for another day.

Irritated - Every little thing that goes wrong can set me off. I cope with this by smoking, reading, and playing solitaire. If I take my mind off of the things that irritate me I can avoid that feeling for a while. Short term this works, long term I am delaying the solution.

Aggravated - I am aggravated with myself. What the hell am I doing sitting here on the couch all the time when I should be doing the things that make life fulfilling for me? I used to travel, meet new people, and love my life. Why the hell did I let my life get to where it is know where I cannot do the things that make me happy?

Mad - I’ve tried not being mad but all that ends up happening is more sitting on the couch and smoking cigarettes. I should be mad, I’ve screwed up. If I had stood my ground and always done what I know was right I wouldn’t be in this position. I let feminist culture convince me that there is something wrong with a man if he is mad. When you are mad it means something is wrong with your situation not something wrong with being mad. You usually have to be mad before you are ready to make a major change in your life.

Angry - You’re damn right I’m angry. I let less qualified people make decisions about my life. I am the only person that understands enough about myself to make those decisions. My anger is valid, however I should use it as motivation to better myself and never let it sink to the level of perpetual hatred.

Pissed Off - No more sitting on the couch being unproductive. No more letting lack of money stop me from being financial free. No more squeezing into clothes that are too tight because I sat around and got fat shoveling large amounts of unhealthy food into my throat hole. No more saying the same thing over and over to the people in my life while they ignore my needs. My name is William Kerr and I am not lazy, a bum, or a person to be disregarded and disrespected. NO MORE!!!

Writing this list helped me get my motivation back for solving my problems. The process should help you too if you are suffering from negative feelings and emotions.

Now that we have a better grasp on the negative feelings that are holding us back we need to discover what it is that makes us happy. In How to be happy - Part 2 I’ll show you how to discover your path toward happiness.