R.I.P Bill.

No, no. Not our lovable Wild Bill!

I mean “The Bill” to end all bills. The ol’ Immigration Proclamation.

Tonight, after a tragic and unforeseen accident….

“The Bill” has died.

You see. “The Bill” innocently accepted a ride home from Ted Kennedy after a long night of partying. Teddy had had one too many brewskies however, and drove the car off a bridge. “The Bill” stumbled out with just a few rips and tears back onto the street only to be turned into a roadside pancake as a slightly buzzed Paris Hilton drove her escape vehicle into him. She was reported as saying “Oh, was I like totally not suppose to leave my house under house arrest? Like, Omygosh!” She expressed her sympathy for “The Bills” family and stated she always thought The Bill was “hot”.

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Ok. SO here is what really sorta happened. Though my story is better…

WASHINGTON (AP) - A broad immigration bill to legalize millions of people in the U.S. unlawfully failed a crucial test vote in the Senate Thursday, a stunning setback that could spell its defeat for the year.

The vote was 45-50 against limiting debate on the bill, 15 short of the 60 that the bill’s supporters needed to prevail. Most Republicans voted to block Democrats’ efforts to bring the bill to a final vote.

The legislation, which had been endorsed by President Bush, would tighten borders, institute a new system to prevent employers from hiring undocumented workers in addition to giving up to 12 million illegal immigrants a pathway to legal status.

Conceived by an improbable coalition that nicknamed the deal a “grand bargain,” the measure exposed deep rifts within both parties and is loathed by most GOP conservatives. (obviously)

*snip*

Most Republicans voted against ending debate, saying they needed more time to make the bill tougher with tighter border security measures and a more arduous legalization process for unlawful immigrants. (surprise, surprise) (link)

So, I suppose a few republicans didn’t manage to muff things up anymore and voted “The Bill” off the island. Alas, they were the little voice in The Bills head that said…“Go ahead… Get in the car with Ted…It’s ok…” I hear they also played Daughtry’s song “I’m going home” as “The Bill” left the room and Seacrest pretended to be sad.

Whether measures will actually be taken to make anything tougher, who knows? But at least I can hear a lot less whining for 2 minutes.

RIP “The Bill”
We knew you not-so well, and hated you all the same. Your short time on this earth will be remembered…Not really. You’re a little paper angel now…Flapping around in heaven pissing off dead conservatives. =^_^=