Robot Says We Taste Like Bacon®

BACON!!!®

Geeky Asian Nerds are building a legion of flesh devouring robots that feed on the flesh of humans–they will even eat hippies! I know what your thinking, even a robot wouldn’t eat a hippy, and that is what I thought also, however the Nerdsians are crafty little bastards. They programed the robots to taste BACON® when they are chewing on me and you. I shit you not.

Robot Identifies Human Flesh As Bacon

Let the robot holocaust commence: robots think we taste like bacon.

Researchers at NEC System technologies and Mie University have designed the cute little guy to the right: a metal man gastronomist, “an electromechanical sommelier”, capable of identifying wines, cheeses, meats and hors d’oeuvres. Upon being given a sample, he will speak up in a childlike voice and identify what he has just been fed. The idea is that wineries can tell if a wine is authentic without even opening the bottle, amongst other more obscure uses…like “tell me what this strange grayish lump at the back of my freezer is/was.”

But when some smart aleck reporter placed his hand in the robot’s omnivorous clanking jaw, he was identified as bacon. (more)

We are DOOMED!!! Hell even I would think about eating a hippy if they tasted like BACON®. We have to destroy all robots now before the ACLU and the Supreme Court extend them civil liberties. Maybe we could turn the robots into vegan gaytards like this guy.

Update: FIAR the Baconmonger at Radioactive Liberty has informed me that the situation is even scarier than I first predicted. Now the pork eatin bastards have guns.