Wal-Mart rolls back prices on shoplifting

Jul 13 9:20 AM US/Central

by Bill Kerr
Passionate America News Inventor

Moore, OK

In an unexpected move by the world largest retailer, Wal-Mart announces, “If you steal less than $25 worth of our merchandize, we will pretend we didn’t see you.”

From The New York Slimes:

Under the new policy, a shoplifter caught trying to swipe, say, a DVD of the movie “Basic Instinct 2” ($16.87) would receive a warning, but one caught walking out of the store with “E.R. — The Complete Fifth Season” ($32.87) would face arrest.

Passionate America obtained an exclusive interview with a man we will call Joe Dawg, that regularly shoplifts at Wal-Mart. Joe Dawg says, “This is great news; I won’t feel so stressed out now when I swipe a DVD or accidentally put a turkey in my pants. Although I will have to make several more trips to Wal-Mart each day because of the $25 limit, it ain’t no biggee. A real hustler can’t put 20 inch rims on his Escalade if he only makes $25 a day, ya eee ya eee!”

In interviews, several current and former Wal-Mart employees said the new shoplifting policy undermines their work and would, over time, encourage more shoplifting at the chain… (more)

Joe Dawg says, “They right, I will defiantly be snatchin more sh!t from Wally-World. Why the hell would I want to work at W to the M when I can jack their a$$ and fill my pimp hand.” When I asked Joe Dawg if he thought stealing was wrong he said, “What? Wal-Mart is giving out free passes. If Wal-Mart don’t care why the hell should I slow my roll?” Joe Dawg promptly ended the interview after receiving a phone call from a Wal-Mart employee that will remain nameless. Joe Dawg said as he jumped into his Escalade, “They got a special on aisle 5, a case of honey BBQ chicken wings for $24.99. I’m out.”